Anybody who knows who the legendary Don West is, knows this man is a comedic legend. He used to sell baseball cards and toys late at night on the Shop At Home Network.
For those of you unfamiliar with Mr. West's antics, here is a classic clip of him selling Christmas Toys.
And, of course his bread and butter was schlepping sports cards.
Don West would have a goldmine this week if he were selling Flyers and Phillies cards. It's all about the Fly guys and Fightins this week. As for the Sixers...well thanks to the rape job at the hands of the refs the other night they stumbled into the postseason.
Let's focus on good thoughts shall we! Here's Don West giving you the skinny on what's hot this week.
Don West: What we got here is a Danny Briere Upper Deck SP Authentic rookie. It's limited edition people. Danny Briere is a total monster! You are gonna miss out on a return of a lifetime if you don't buy this rookie card. And, it's rated a GEM MINT 10, A GEM MINT 10 by PSA authenticators. Be dialing! He has five goals in the playoffs. FIVE GOALS! FIVE GOALS! How many does Ovechkin have? One. That's FIVE TIMES THE AMOUNT OF GOALS! You're not gonna see a better performance than this. He's sick, he's insane, he's electric. He's a f***n...oh s**t I can't say f**k on the air. Oh, f**k it anyway! I'm in love with Briere! Danny Briere. Get a Danny Briere rookie card for $49.99. $49.99. Be dialing!
Ok, we have a caller on the line. And, the caller is...Dale from Nashville. What's up Dale?
Caller: Don, I just bought some of these Nascar cards and they aint worth sheep s**t motherf***r.
Don West: Ok, next caller!
Caller: Don, you still gonna try and sell any Tom Gordon bobble head dolls. I wonder if they have an option for the f***ing arm to fall off.
Don West: Hey! Don't rip the Fightin' Phis. They are 8 and 8 buddy. This week they heated up and took down the Astros in a game-winner the other day and beat the snot out of them Texas bastards yesterday 10-2. When the warm weather starts, two things happen, the girls wear less clothes and the Phils start to hit! Get ready for a summer blockbuster people!
Next up we have a Pat Burrell Upper Deck autograph graded a gem mint 10. Pat the bat people! GEM MINT 10! GEM MINT 10! You're not gonna get something like this in the stores! Hell, you can't even get this thing on ebay! Pat the bat is on pace for 60 homeruns! 60! 60! 60! I'm going f***ing bonkers! He's hitting homers like Mike Tyson hits women! He's a one-man wrecking crew. He could take down the whole Chinese army by himself with his awesome bat! I'm selling this one for $34.99. $34.99! Be dialing.
Ok, we have Greg from Philadelphia. Greg, how is my Philadelphia brother doing?
Caller: Why's it gotta be like that? Who said I was black?
Don West: I wasn't saying that, I meant brother like brotherly love.
Caller: Yeah, whatever. Yo, Don you can't be serious about this Pat Burrell card. I see that s**t on ebay all the time.
Don West: Next caller. Nancy from Dover.
Nancy: Hi Don. I love you so much. You're knowledge of baseball cards and sports in general is unmatched. They should put you on WIP instead of Howard Eskin.
Don West: Hey thanks for the compliments baby. But, don't get too crazy the audience might think you're related to me.
Nancy: Well, I want to thank you for the Pat Burrell's from last time and I'm going to order 10 more.
Don West: You hear that people? She got 10 of them! There's only 15 left! 15 left! Only 3 minutes left on the clock!
Before we take a break I want to roll out a once in a lifetime opportunity for a Flyers team photo, with a jersey patch from each player. We all know how hot jersey patches are in the sports card industry. Here, you get, the HOTTEST team in Philly right now. And, you get all of the team members autos. And, you get their friggin' jerseys! Every player's AUTO and JERSEY! You'll never see anything like this again. You'll see a friggin' dinosaur running down the street scaring the s**t out of little kids before you see this! I'm dead serious. We have only one in stock and the price is.
Drum roll sound effect.
$3,499.99. That's right you can get this bad boy for under $3,500! Be dialing people! You have a better chance of scoring with Maria Sharapova than landing this one! And, this team is gonna end the Philly curse and win the whole f***ing shebang! Get in on this on the ground level and before it's priceless. This thing could be worth a hundred grand after the parade on Broad Street people! Be dialing!
Alright, time for a break. Be dialing! This is Don West and you're watching The Shop at Home network!
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