Iron Mike would have a lot of good things to say about our squads right now
Good times in Philly. Just a month and a half ago, things were looking rather bleak. Since then the Sixers have become the talk of the town, the Flyers have managed to stay in it and are playing very well heading into the playoffs, the Eagles signed Asante Samuel, and the Phillies-well lets not talk about them.
Who better to gift wrap everything for you this week then the master of butchering the English language like Idi Amin butchered his people, the ferocious Iron Mike Tyson!
I'm Mike Tyson and I've been given the opportunity to give you the straight up new s**t on what's new with the squads in Philly.
The Sixers have been demonstrative. They've been playing with a felicity and pretentsity that I aint f***ing seen since when I knocked that motherf***r out at the bar that one time. Oh wait, I aint supposed to be talking about that. But, whatever. You can't count out this Sixers team never. They dismantled the Celtics in the 4th quarter like a lion divulges a leopard on the Serengeti. They f****d up the Spurs and made them their bitches. And, the Suns were no match for them either. They have the heart of Zeus, the hunger of King Kang Bundee, and the bite of a black mamba. If you come in their house, they'll f**k you til they love you.
The Flyers. S**t I don't know a motherf***ing thing about hockey, but I will say one word describes them. Impregnant. They have the ultimatum of Jason Vorhees and when they cut, they slice like a f***ing hammer. You see that dude who had his throat slashed by one them...oh wait s**t that was another game I saw that jawn on youtube. Nevermind, they be tight though. Motherf***rs better watch out now when you in a battle with them. I knocked cats out in 30 seconds. They be knockin' cats out in 3 seconds. I'd be scared like a little white boy if I had to go toe to toe with the Flyers.
And, the Phillies the pitchers be lacking moxone you know they don't have that inner hunger, like when I used to bum rush motherf***rs in the ring back in '86. You know s**t be f***ed up when you have 3 of your 5 starters getting overwhelmingly. They need to be more ostentatious with their training and the same goes for the rest of the team. They look a few steps off. If they start out 10-15 again, then they gonna be chasing the Mets and then it's gonna make it pontifcatingly worse in the long run. So, that's my take on the Phillies.
The Eagles. Get a #1 wide receiver. I could outrun Reggie Brown and Greg Lewis. Kevin Curtis alright, but he's not as imperturbable as a tight end should be. But, seriously McNabb needs to step up and be a man and bitch slap the owner and President and make them get a damn #1 receiver. He's as impetuous as a millipede sometimes and it makes me wanna go up to him and say, "Donovan yo, you need to man up."
That's all now. Til next time Iron Mike say, don't let life get you down. You gotta be tuff and impregnant. And, I wanna give a shoutout to my man Pacman Jones. Go to his Grey Goose party this Sunday.
If you don't then you is a bitch.
Alright, we done here.
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