Weekly Wrap-Up

It's been a busy week in Philly sports for sure and Dwight Schrute was on the beat for all of it



Big news on all fronts this week. Where to begin? How do we make sense of it all?

Who better to gift wrap everything for you in a nice little package with a bow than Dwight Schrute of The Office.

Not only can Dwight serve as the assistant regional manager, but he could probably hang with the best of them on the beat covering all four sports in a busy market like Philly. Move over Bill Conlin, Dwight's on the beat.

Dwight was first on the beat for the Eagles this week. He had a chance to talk to Joe Banner about their power move to put the Eagles on two radio stations, an unprecedented move indeed.

Dwight: Mr. Penguin it is an honor to speak with you. You are without a doubt the most respected nemesis of any superhero I know.

Banner: That wasn't me Dwight. I believe he was portrayed by Burgess Meredith.

The similarity is quite striking between the two though!



Dwight: Are you sure about that?

Banner: I'm quite sure. I'm just a president of the Eagles.

Dwight: Just a president huh. Well, anyway I see that you're on your way to world domination with the latest move to put the Eagles on the airwaves of two stations. Do you think it's possible that you'll try to buy a newspaper next and then a TV station.

Banner: We don't need to do that. They already talk about us.

Dwight: Yes, but wouldn't it make more sense to own the media then you can control what they say about you?

Banner: That's what we have Howard Eskin for. He says what we tell him to say.

Dwight: Who is this Eskin you speak of?

Banner: You know that reporter on WIP who looks like a werewolf?

Dwight: A werewolf. I shot a werewolf once.

Banner: I know and it was your neighbor's dog. I saw that episode too. You play a better assistant to a manager than a reporter Dwight.

Dwight: Eskin does your work and at night is a werewolf. I get it now.

And, Dwight was on the beat for Ryan Howard's hearing and got to talk with him just after it.

Dwight: Ryan, hey Ryan Howard. Quick question.

Ryan: Ok, hurry up because I gotta get back to practice.

Dwight: It will be but a minute. Ryan, are you in any way of any relation to the Ryan Howard, the former intern at the Scranton branch?

Ryan: Wait, what?

Dwight: I hear you got $10 million awarded to you today? Do you plan on reinvesting that or spending it?

Ryan: I got no time for this.

Dwight was lucky enough to talk to Mo Cheeks after he got a vote of confidence (if you call a year extension that) by GM Ed Stefanski in the form of a one-year contract extension.


Dwight: Mo, they tell me that you can still outplay young kids on the playground in pick-up games. Is that true?

Mo: I can still throw down.

Dwight: Oh yeah, care to take me on?

Mo: No offense, but I'd run circles around you.

Dwight: Bring it on little man. A Schrute never turned down a challenge he did or didn't like.

Mo: Is that it? I really gotta get running here and celebrate this win with my team.

Dwight: You call a win over the Knicks a win? That's like me playing Gary Coleman in basketball.

Mo: Or, me schooling you. Have a great night.

And, finally let's see what Dwight and Flyers coach John Stevens had to say to each other after the Flyers' 9th straight loss last night.

Dwight: John, it seems like you've lost the team. 9 straight losses and the team shows about as much enthusiasm as my neighbor's dog I shot on one occasion. What do you have to say for yourself?

Stevens: Well, we just have to keep working hard and hopefully get out of this funk.

Dwight: Yeah, with an attitude like that Johnny boy, you would make a great sleep specialist. Can I count on you to talk to me when I have a bout of insomnia? You have the energy of a corpse. And, with Simon Gagne out for the season with a severe head injury, your team's morale has to be low. And, you can't bring them up.

Stevens: Well, Dwight not everybody can be pleased. I guess there's nothing I can say to you to convince you that I can put any life into this team.

Dwight: Face it Stevens. You're not coaching material. You're barely cut out to be operating a Zamboni. I'd be concerned that you would fall asleep and knock over the rink.

Stevens: I don't think that's possible.

Dwight: Oh yeah? 10 straight losses is a certainty. Good luck next time.

And, thus ended Dwight's beat this week!